Still shaking from the adrenaline rush of battle, Tim sat down heavily on the hood of an abandoned car. He shook his head as he tried to make sense of it all, while his two alien companions watched him with detached curiosity. Something about the whole situation seemed off, as if some unknown motive was guiding the events of the past few days.
“I don’t get it…” he muttered aloud, prompting the aliens to exchange a significant glance before speaking.
“Don’t get what?” one asked, its voice gritty from the mechanical translator.
“All of this. I mean, why are you here? Why now?”
“Because Dr. Bohem must be stopped. The future of your world depends on it.”
“But why do you aliens have to stop him? I mean, it’s not like he’s using alien technology.”
“It’s…complicated.” The alien glanced at his companion, who had backed away from the conversation and was pretending to do something high-tech.
“Is he a threat to you?”
“Not exactly…”
“Then why? Why interfere?”
“It’s because of what you are.”
“What we are? Humans?”
“You humans are special.”
“Special? Like we have some sort of hidden power or something? Come on, this isn’t a bad sci-fi movie.”
“Not exactly….”
“Then explain.”
“Look around at everything your species has accomplished, and the 250,000 years it’s taken you to do so,” the alien patiently explained, “Now look at my kind, and our technology.”
“Yeah, your point?”
“My species has only been around 50,000 Earth-years. And we had some setbacks due to asteroid strikes.”
“Ok, I’m still not getting it.”
“Your species is… ‘special’…” the alien repeated, using the finger-quotes gesture it had recently learned.
“Wait….you mean….we….”
“Certain species just need…extra help.”
“I don’t fucking believe this.”
“You’re still a very nice species,” the alien placated, “you’re just a bit slow. And there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Why do you think we’ve blocked other species from contacting you? Kept ourselves hidden?” the second alien added, “We didn’t want to make you all feel bad.”
“This is ridiculous!” Tim protested.
“Look, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re just different.” The first alien patted him on the head.
“We can build you some more pyramids. Would you like that? Would some more pyramids make you feel better?”
“No, I don’t want any more fucking pyramids!”
“Don’t get so upset! Everything we’ve done has been to keep you safe. We put that force-field around the planet to keep out asteroids, and even made the climate warmer so you wouldn’t get cold.”
Tim thought for a second before responding.
“Did…did you just put a helmet on Earth and pin cosmic mittens to our jacket?
“He sounds cranky,” the second alien observed.
“He’s just tired. But a nap will make him feel better,” the first replied, waving a glowing device at Tim. Before Tim could respond, he felt himself plunge into a deep slumber.
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"With malleus aforethought, mammals got an earful of their ancestor's jaw" - J Burns, Biograffiti
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